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What decade are you stuck in?


We all have that one woman in our family, maybe its two and maybe she’s you? Who? What? You know the woman who has the 80’s hairstyle and wears men’s t-shirts a size too large. Let me make this

loud and clear as to not have any misunderstandings. I am not bashing these people at all. I am not making fun o them or judging them. I have recently had a shocking revelation and I want to talk it out with you!


The other day I was out shopping and not finding anything I liked. I was feeling nauseous, insecure, angry and feeling completely helpless. The colors, the styles, the “cold shoulder” tops, the cut-up t-shirts. No, no, no. Not that I don’t like them on other people. I do! That is what frustrates me. I see a style on someone and I think oh I love that, I try it on and I look in the mirror and boom! NO WAY! Not on me! My day of shopping was horrible and it slowly dawned on me that all the styles out right now were not things I was comfortable or familiar with. I wasn’t liking the clothes I was seeing and liking them less when I put them on. For the first time in my life trying new things and shopping was not a fun thing at all. Generally, I would embrace change but now I just want the comfortable and “safe” styles I have worn for years.



Then I realized it’s not just the styles, it’s me. It's my body. It’s my lifestyle. I will not wear “crop” tops, even when I had a six pack I don’t think I would have but def not after having a child. “Bell” shirt sleeves will just get in the way of me parenting my 2-year-old boy. I don’t want pants with sequins, and wearing platform sneakers was something I wore in the 5th grade, never again. And so, on and so on. Not only are the “familiar” clothing items less available as to make room for the new styles but they just aren’t the same for me. I started realizing why some women are “stuck” in a particular decade. You know that aunt you have who’s stuck in the 80’s. It because it’s the time where they were in their prime. Those styles looked good on them, made them feel good. When things changed, they stayed the same. Like I said, no judgment! If you rocked the 80’s and the 80’s are still rocking you then go on with your bad self. When I see a woman in a store these days with a mullet; straight bangs in front and a bit of a party in the back with some super tight perm going on I no longer think: “wow she is stuck in the 80’s time for a new doo.” I now think: “that style must have made her feel very confident when it was popular and she is probably very comfortable with that look on her.” It’s funny how age and experience changes your perspectives. I now understand why woman choose to wear large t-shirts instead of the latest styles. It so much easier, comfortable and much less time consuming!


This post is not to suggest that you should change the way you dress, that your lazy or you don’t care about your appearance. We all have things that we care about and parts of our lives that we put more energy into than others. For me personally I enjoy aspects of fashion, I like feeling confident and having clothes that are fun and expressive. However, for the first time in my life fashion is turning into a bigger challenge than it ever has been. I feel that this is a time in my life as a woman (a turning point if you will) where I can take the route of sticking with the comfortable or sucking it up and finding the “new normal.” Whatever you’re comfortable and genuinely happy with then that’s what you should do! If your “stuck” in the 90’s and loving it then that’s great, keep doing you. Sometimes I am happy with my style but then I see women who are wearing the latest fashions and it bugs me that I haven’t found my what I like yet.


Sometimes it’s about confidence and other times it’s about change and the unfamiliar. Maybe you’ve been out of the game or a while? I had my son two years ago and prior I was obviously pregnant. That puts me almost three years out of the game. In the last two years due to budgeting reasons I have shopped very rarely and not focused too much on style. I hope to soon find a way to allow myself the joy of finding new clothes and the confidence to wear them.


Do you struggle with fashion? Do you lack the confidence? Are you the opposite? Do you rock new styles, feel great and love to try new things? Either way I would love your tips, tricks and insights to this problem that I feel plagues many women and men children or not.


Thanks for reading :-) Here to hoping we all feel good in our own skin as well as our clothes! I will get there!


More about Kirby

Cold Coffee, Dirty Diapers and Daydreams

 I wont pretend that life with baby is perfect and I really wont pretend that life with a toddler is perfect! That's OK, try as we might our lives will never be "perfect"  because there will always be something bigger and better that we want to conquer next! Most importantly in the now; life is good! I am a stay-at-home-mom with a wonderful and supportive husband who is busy working as well as attending school full-time. I have many hobbies in which I enjoy and generally never focus on one for too long. . . "hobby ADHD". Most of my hobbies are done while watching television or listening to an audio book! As far as parenting goes I am a pretty attached mama who nursed until my son was 14 months old, wore him from time to time but not as much as I wish I did (now that he won't stay put) and I currently cloth diaper. I am not a crunchy granola mom(aspire as I may), I do envy their dedication to all things natural and "clean". I do not hold any parenting style against anyone and I often love to take different aspects of parenting styles and use them for my own unique parenting approach. Before I had a child I was busy as an educator working with kids ranging from preschool to elementary school, I worked with special education specifically autism as well as tutored and taught gymnastics. I have always loved working with children and knew being a mom was made for me.  
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Central Valley, California

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